It’s quite the spectacle, isn’t it, watching people who once walked the hallowed halls of power try to explain away a monumentally bad decision? You’d think with all that experience in high-stakes environments, they’d master the art of a graceful retreat, or at least a believable excuse. Instead, we often get a masterclass in verbal gymnastics that leaves us wondering if they think we just fell off the turnip truck yesterday.

Sometimes, the explanations are so convoluted, so utterly disconnected from common sense, you almost have to admire the sheer audacity. It’s like watching a magician who insists the rabbit chose to disappear, or that the sawn-in-half assistant simply enjoys a bit of breezy separation. The more they talk, the deeper the hole, and we, the audience, are left to ponder whether it’s genuine cluelessness or something far more cynical at play.

Enter James Comey, the former FBI Director whose name seems permanently attached to the word “disgraced” in many circles. Our old friend Jim recently found himself in a familiar spot of bother over a social media post featuring the numbers “86 47,” which a good chunk of America understandably interpreted as a rather unsubtle, and frankly thuggish, call to “take out” President Donald Trump (our 47th and current President). Naturally, when the heat rose, Comey took to the friendly confines of The Late Show with Stephen Colbert to clear the air, or perhaps just blow more smoke.

Comey’s Tall Tale Theater on Colbert

Appearing on the show, ostensibly to promote his new legal thriller, Comey offered an explanation for his “86 47” post that was, shall we say, creative. He insisted it was just a “clever political message” hearkening back to his youth.

From ‘Breitbart’:

Comey explained to Colbert the reference was something he thought was a harmless but “clever political message,” adding “[…] I remember when I was a kid, you would say ‘86’ to get out of a place. ‘This place stinks, let’s 86 it.’”

Right. Because when a former FBI Director uses slang that also has a notorious underworld meaning in reference to the sitting President of the United States, we should all just assume he’s reminiscing about childhood pranks. Colbert, ever the understanding host to a fellow traveler, chimed in that he, too, knew “86” from his bartending days – for cutting off drunk customers. How… reassuring.

But wait, the tale gets taller! Comey recounted a stroll on the beach with his wife, Patrice. They apparently stumbled upon “offensive seashells” (your guess is as good as mine), which prompted Mrs. Comey, drawing on her vast experience as a restaurant server, to recognize “86” as meaning “get rid of.” So, you see, it was his wife’s food-service acumen that cracked the code of the mysterious seashells, which then inspired his “clever political message.” He’s not just throwing himself under the bus; he’s trying to take Patrice with him!

From Top Cop to Clueless Commentator?

After the backlash, Comey predictably deleted the offending Instagram post. He then issued a statement dripping with feigned innocence: “I posted earlier a picture of some shells I saw today on a beach walk, which I assumed were a political message. I didn’t realize some folks associate those numbers with violence. It never occurred to me, but I oppose violence of any kind, so I took the post down.”

Let that sink in. The man who once ran the premier law enforcement agency in the world, an agency that deals daily with threats, coded language, and violent actors, wants us to believe the violent connotation of “86-ing” someone “never occurred to him.” This isn’t just insulting our intelligence; it’s a brazen attempt to rewrite reality. The Secret Service, by the way, apparently didn’t find his explanation quite so “clever,” as they reportedly called him in for an interview. They tend to take potential threats to the President a tad more seriously than late-night talk show hosts.

Just Selling Books, or Still Selling Us Out?

One might wonder if this entire charade was a calculated bit of PR for his new book, FDR Drive. Create a stir, get some headlines, then play the misunderstood innocent – it’s a tired playbook. But with Comey, it always feels like there’s an extra layer of duplicity. This isn’t just about selling books; it’s about a continued, simmering resentment and a willingness to engage in behavior that, at best, is reckless and, at worst, feeds into a dangerous narrative.

The man who played such a pivotal, and many would argue destructive, role in the political landscape continues to demonstrate a stunning lack of judgment and a persistent habit of bending the truth to fit his narrative. His excuses aren’t just weak; they’re an affront to anyone who expects a modicum of honesty from former public servants. He’s not just digging a deeper hole; he’s trying to convince us it’s a new swimming pool.

Key Takeaways:

• Disgraced ex-FBI head Comey offered laughable excuses for his “86 47” anti-Trump post.
• His absurd “wife & seashells” tale insults Americans and shows glaring elite arrogance.
• Comey’s continued duplicity highlights his ongoing betrayal of conservative values and public trust.

Sources: Breitbart